Anxiety. 

“Don’t believe everything you think” 
Mental health is a funny thing in society. Just as you feel the stigma is being knocked down something happens that brings it right back up. I’ve seen a lot online lately about anxiety in particular being called a ‘fad’. I can only assume it’s because people are slowly feeling more comfortable and able to share their suffering which has made it a much more discussed topic.

Anxiety isn’t the latest trend, it’s always been around. It’s only now people are coming forward without fear of judgement. Which is ultimately a good thing, I just wish this wasn’t met with some narrow minded responses. 

I seen someone saying it’s like the common cold everyone seems to be ‘catching’ it. God I wish anxiety was like the cold and it would just simply go away after a few days of feeling rotten. The problem with mental health is it can’t be seen. You can look totally normal (whatever that is) on the outside and be crippled with your own thoughts inside. 

I’ve been told a lot in the past to just not be anxious, to just stop focusing on the negatives. Would you tell someone who’s unable to walk to run a marathon? No. I struggle to see the difference but then again people fear the unknown. I wish I could just shut my mind off sometimes. I wish I could stop the cold feeling taking over my body and focus only on the good things. My life would certainly be a lot easier if I could. 

Of course if you’ve never had anxiety or any other mental health issue you will struggle to understand. Everyone will have some moments of anxiousness but being anxious and anxiety are very different things. 

Ever since I can remember I’ve always felt this way. I always felt worried, half the time I couldn’t explain what over. It was always just looming over me. It became part of my everyday life, I slowly lost my urge to fight it and just accepted it. A couple of years ago I lost control over it. I totally spiralled into a horrible dark state that was stopping me living my day to day life and that’s when I knew I finally had to take the plunge and ask for help. 

I went to my GP, she was so lovely and helpful and really put my fear of looking crazy at rest. I was given some beta blockers and some information about online help. The beta blockers are to help control the physical symptoms of anxiety. The shaking, heart palpitations, the shortness of breath and chest pains etc. I guess the online help to try and help control the anxiety before it takes over.

Since having Jack I’ve felt more anxious than usual, I’m going to keep a close eye on it. I know it’s totally normal to worry when you have a baby so maybe it’s a mixture of that and my existing lingering anxiety. I’m working my butt off to finally get to a point where my anxiety isn’t an issue in my life, I’m not sure if that will ever happen but if I can at least get to a place where it’s not as strong I will be happy. I would like it to take a back seat and enjoy the ride quietly. 

If you’re suffering don’t suffer in silence. Even just talking to someone can really help rationalise you’re thoughts. No one should have to settle with anxiety being such a large overruling part of their life. It might not ever go away completely but it doesn’t have to be so loud and intrusive. You can take steps to help it. 

Here is a link to a website I’ve found really useful in the past.

https://www.mind.org.uk/

Lots of love x 

2 thoughts on “Anxiety. 

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