I’ve taken an accidental hiatus from blogging lately. I guess I’ve just been so busy trying to figure out our new routine with me going back to work and putting everything else on the back burner until I felt content I had cracked it. Maybe another reason is I’ve just been so busy running after a baby who’s now walking around all the furniture and is intent on climbing on top of the TV cabinet, probably a mixture to be honest!
I returned to work early May, and it’s safe to say I was an absolute nervous wreck. I couldn’t imagine being away from Jack for those hours, or him being in nursery in a new environment. It broke my heart every time I thought about it, I put on a brave face, but I was utterly devastated maternity leave was ending, another sign my tiny little newborn was in fact not so tiny anymore. I think that realisation was the hardest part of motherhood I’ve experienced so far. I couldn’t wrap my head around him not being with me all day, how I would function let alone him.
I guess I also felt guilty because there was a small part of me that was longing for a little part of the old me back, to have my lunch without Jack eyeing it up and getting angry if I didn’t share, to have a hot cup of coffee without having to microwave it a few times.
Now I’m a month and a bit in, it feels like I’ve never been away. Jacks settled in amazingly at nursery apart from a little wobble when I drop him off which only started when I took him out for a week when he was ill, it isn’t nice, but he quickly forgets about me when they hand him a snack! I’m hoping it’s just a little phase and he’ll soon get back to how easy it was before! His nursery is brilliant, I couldn’t have asked for more and feel 100% comfortable leaving him there which is something I didn’t think I’d ever feel a few months ago, so that helps.
It’s been a tough couple of months, trying to figure out if I was even going to go back to work, dealing with my emotions and trying to keep them under control in a healthy way was torture at times but I’m now fully embracing our new routine and feel very happy with my decision to stick with my guts and return to work. It works for some and not for others, for now it’s good for us.
Anyway, I’m keen to get back into my blogging so any suggestions are more than welcome.
Lots of love x